By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Christine_Brown-Quinn]Christine Brown-Quinn
Sinking Superwoman - learning that 'OK' is good enough
Have you seen Sarah Jessica Parker's latest film I Don't Know How She Does It.
I know how she does it because I do it. But, I'm no Superwoman. It's the team that I have around me that does it - my husband, our childcare provider and our kids all pitch in and make the career-family thing work. When I was first starting out and doing the juggling act of career and family over 20 years ago, it certainly did feel like I did it. But the downside was I also felt like everything was solely my responsibility.
Like working mom Kate Reddy in the film (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) I used to feel that I singlehandedly had to hold it all together. How was I going to make the school meeting and meet the deadline at work? How was I going to get the promotion and still take full control at home. How was I going to have the time and energy to bake a cake for the cake sale having worked another 10-hour day. I'm sure you get the picture.
The funny thing was my husband never said that it was all up to me. I made this assumption. I put this unrealistic expectation on myself that I had to be perfect home and perfect at work. The day I stopped trying to be Superwoman (for the benefit of my own health and therefore for the benefit of everyone around me) was the day I started enjoying my life as a mother, wife, and professional. I realised that unless I changed my mindset I was headed straight for a meltdown.
What I also realised was that I was putting my personal life in one box and my working life in another without taking advantage of any transfer of skills between the two environments. I was gaining some fantastic management skills at work which I wasn't using at home: delegation, prioritization, working in teams and managing teams just to name a few. I admit that when it comes to delegation, it's sometimes hard to give up control, especially at home. Let's face it. You do do things better than most people. No argument there. However, if you try to do most things all by yourself, you will burn out. Constantly striving for perfection in every aspect of your life leads to a miserable existence. Like Kate Reddy's husband Richard says in the film, "OK, is good enough".
Did you ever think about what you're like when you act like a control freak? I have. Do your kids like you? Does your childcare provider like you? Does your partner like you? Let others in. Let them help out. Make them feel appreciated as part of the team. Get them to own some of the problems and challenges. And yes they will do things differently, but don't sweat the detail. We often criticize our partners for not helping out. And then when they do help out, but they don't do things exactly like we do, we criticize them for that too! My husband's approach and style to managing things at home is very different from mine, but no less valid (although I still think my way is better!) But the point is, I do let him get on with it and I try not to interfere. He's a smart man. Why do I think I need to treat him like an idiot?
So by adopting this team approach, does this mean your life will be perfect? No, life is never perfect. Sorry to break this to you. By adopting the team approach, however, you can sustain a rewarding lifestyle that combines your career ambitions with a fulfilling family life. Do it now. Let go. Ahhh. Doesn't that feel better?
Entrepreneur and author, Christine Brown-Quinn founded her consultancy practice The Female Capitalist � in 2010, after publishing her book entitled Step Aside Super Woman, Career & Family is for Any Woman (Bookshaker, Great Britain, 2010). Formerly a managing director in banking & finance, she now works as an author, international speaker and management consultant focused on helping organizations leverage female talent as well as empowering professional women to successfully combine career and family. She is also the co-founder of the Women in Business Superconference series.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?I-Dont-Know-How-She-Does-It---Part-1-of-a-5-Part-Series&id=6630929] I Don't Know How She Does It - Part 1 of a 5 Part Series
Monday, October 31, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Natural Solution to Period Pain and Irregular Periods
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Maria_Ananakis]Maria Ananakis
Jane wakes up in the morning to find that she has her periods for the first time in 4 months. You see, Jane experiences irregular periods. They are never on time, and when she does get them, she experiences severe pain for the first 2 days. She also suffers from bloating as well as back and leg pain for those 2 days.
She had previously visited her doctor about her poor menstrual cycle who had prescribed her with the pill. While it helped her become regular while she was on the pill, once she got off it (18 months later) the irregularity soon re-appeared.
Jane is getting a little concerned that the pill has not fixed the problem. She doesn't want to keep relying on this drug to keep her regular.
A friend of hers recommended she try Chiropractic, as her sister had previously gone through the same thing and noticed an improvement after treatment.
Jane had undergone Chiropractic for a few months and 1 year on, her periods are on time every month, and best of all, she has no pain.
Although this story is fictional, there are many women out there who are just like Jane. It is not uncommon for women to experience severe pain when it comes to "that time of the month". And for some women, a menstrual cycle every month does not occur.
Chiropractic is very effective in helping women not only overcome period pain, but also maintain a healthy menstrual cycle every month.
So how can a Chiropractor help?
Now you may be thinking to yourself, "what does my spine have to do with my menstrual cycle? Why would I see a Chiropractor for this problem?"
Chiropractors believe that there is a strong relationship between your nervous system and the reproductive organs (including the ovaries and uterus). Your nervous system is made up your brain, spinal cord and spinal nerves. In order for you to have a normal menstrual cycle, your nervous system must be able to send information to your reproductive organs free from interference. Sometimes however, blockages can occur with this communication network, which can affect your cycle and cause pain. Chiropractors refer to this blockage as a subluxation.
To help you to understand this concept a little better, let me provide you with a simple analogy. Imagine you have a tap and a sprinkler connected to each other by a hose. In order for the sprinkler to work properly, the tap must be on and the water must pass through the hose. If all of a sudden, pressure is applied to the hose, it will affect the flow of water through the hose and to the sprinkler. This will prevent the sprinkler from working correctly. If we were to replace the sprinkler with a new one, it still wouldn't work, because of the pressure still on the hose. If we were to remove the pressure from the hose, the sprinkler would then start to work.
In this analogy, imagine the sprinkler as your ovary, the hose as your spinal nerves and the tap as the spine. a Chiropractor removes the pressure from the nerves that prevents the reproductive organs from working properly.
While medication and anti-inflammatories mask pain and symptoms, Chiropractors get to the cause of your problem. This is how they are able to help women maintain a regular period and a painless one as well, even after treatment has finished.
To overcome your period pain once and for all, and to make way for a regular cycle, consider consulting a Chiropractor.
By Dr Maria Ananakis (Chiropractor)
For more information on how Chiropractic can help you with period pain and irregular periods, go to: http://chiropractic-care.com.au/womens-health
Dr Maria Ananakis (Chiropractor) graduated from Macquarie University with a Bachelor of Chiropractic Science and a Masters of Chiropractic. She owns and operates her own busy chiropractic practice in Sydney. She has a special interest in holistic family care and helps people of all ages varying from newborns through to the grandparents. Other interests within the profession include treating stress, babies and children, pregnancy, headaches, back pain, low energy, arthritis, women's health issues, such as fertility; and sports injuries. Dr Maria prefers natural and holistic care and aims to help people with a variety of issues by ensuring the nervous system is free to work without interference. Discover more about Dr. Maria Ananakis at [http://www.chiropractic-care.com.au]http://www.chiropractic-care.com.au.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Natural-Solution-to-Period-Pain-and-Irregular-Periods&id=6632850] Natural Solution to Period Pain and Irregular Periods
Jane wakes up in the morning to find that she has her periods for the first time in 4 months. You see, Jane experiences irregular periods. They are never on time, and when she does get them, she experiences severe pain for the first 2 days. She also suffers from bloating as well as back and leg pain for those 2 days.
She had previously visited her doctor about her poor menstrual cycle who had prescribed her with the pill. While it helped her become regular while she was on the pill, once she got off it (18 months later) the irregularity soon re-appeared.
Jane is getting a little concerned that the pill has not fixed the problem. She doesn't want to keep relying on this drug to keep her regular.
A friend of hers recommended she try Chiropractic, as her sister had previously gone through the same thing and noticed an improvement after treatment.
Jane had undergone Chiropractic for a few months and 1 year on, her periods are on time every month, and best of all, she has no pain.
Although this story is fictional, there are many women out there who are just like Jane. It is not uncommon for women to experience severe pain when it comes to "that time of the month". And for some women, a menstrual cycle every month does not occur.
Chiropractic is very effective in helping women not only overcome period pain, but also maintain a healthy menstrual cycle every month.
So how can a Chiropractor help?
Now you may be thinking to yourself, "what does my spine have to do with my menstrual cycle? Why would I see a Chiropractor for this problem?"
Chiropractors believe that there is a strong relationship between your nervous system and the reproductive organs (including the ovaries and uterus). Your nervous system is made up your brain, spinal cord and spinal nerves. In order for you to have a normal menstrual cycle, your nervous system must be able to send information to your reproductive organs free from interference. Sometimes however, blockages can occur with this communication network, which can affect your cycle and cause pain. Chiropractors refer to this blockage as a subluxation.
To help you to understand this concept a little better, let me provide you with a simple analogy. Imagine you have a tap and a sprinkler connected to each other by a hose. In order for the sprinkler to work properly, the tap must be on and the water must pass through the hose. If all of a sudden, pressure is applied to the hose, it will affect the flow of water through the hose and to the sprinkler. This will prevent the sprinkler from working correctly. If we were to replace the sprinkler with a new one, it still wouldn't work, because of the pressure still on the hose. If we were to remove the pressure from the hose, the sprinkler would then start to work.
In this analogy, imagine the sprinkler as your ovary, the hose as your spinal nerves and the tap as the spine. a Chiropractor removes the pressure from the nerves that prevents the reproductive organs from working properly.
While medication and anti-inflammatories mask pain and symptoms, Chiropractors get to the cause of your problem. This is how they are able to help women maintain a regular period and a painless one as well, even after treatment has finished.
To overcome your period pain once and for all, and to make way for a regular cycle, consider consulting a Chiropractor.
By Dr Maria Ananakis (Chiropractor)
For more information on how Chiropractic can help you with period pain and irregular periods, go to: http://chiropractic-care.com.au/womens-health
Dr Maria Ananakis (Chiropractor) graduated from Macquarie University with a Bachelor of Chiropractic Science and a Masters of Chiropractic. She owns and operates her own busy chiropractic practice in Sydney. She has a special interest in holistic family care and helps people of all ages varying from newborns through to the grandparents. Other interests within the profession include treating stress, babies and children, pregnancy, headaches, back pain, low energy, arthritis, women's health issues, such as fertility; and sports injuries. Dr Maria prefers natural and holistic care and aims to help people with a variety of issues by ensuring the nervous system is free to work without interference. Discover more about Dr. Maria Ananakis at [http://www.chiropractic-care.com.au]http://www.chiropractic-care.com.au.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Natural-Solution-to-Period-Pain-and-Irregular-Periods&id=6632850] Natural Solution to Period Pain and Irregular Periods
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Chinese Birth Chart - Predict Your Baby's Gender
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Thomas_M_Turner]Thomas M Turner
All people who dream of having a baby wonder whether someday they'll have a girl or a boy. The gender of the child is one of the biggest and most interesting mysteries expectant parents face as they begin to enter a new and exciting phase of their lives. Ultrasounds are typically inconclusive until the baby is between 16 and 20 weeks old, but there is another age-old method known as the Chinese Birth Chart that people can use to figure out a baby's gender during any point in the pregnancy, and even prior to conception.
Based on the mother's age and the date of conception, the chart has been used for hundreds of years as a surefire way to determine a baby's gender. With its origins dating back to the 13 century, the chart is often said to be over 90% effective. Also known as the Chinese Gender Chart and the Chinese Birth Calendar, the system has been used by thousands of women throughout the world to predict the gender of their new baby at the moment of conception. Because the system is based on the lunar calendar and the exact age of the mother, some have even used it to influence the sex of their baby prior to conceiving.
Part of the well-respected ancient Chinese wisdom, the Birth Chart differs from conventional medicine in many ways. According to the belief behind the popular method, women are the ones who hold the power to deciding the gender of their baby. Modern medicine dictates that the absence or presence of the Y chromosome from the man is the determining factor of an unborn baby's gender while the Chinese Chart is centered on the belief that it's actually the woman who chooses the sex of the baby, and recent scientific studies have shown evidence supporting this idea.
Although this method is easy to use, it's important to follow a few guidelines to ensure that women calculate their baby's gender as accurately as possible. The woman needs to be aware of the date of conception as it plays a vital role in using the chart correctly. It's also important to remember the chart is based on the lunar calendar and that a newborn baby is actually already twelve months old. According to the Chinese Birth Chart, the age of the woman along with the month of conception determine the baby's gender.
There are many skeptics who argue that the chart is inaccurate, there are thousands of parents who have used it with successful results. Supporters of using the chart stress the importance of learning about the value of ancient Chinese wisdom and the rules that must be followed before the system can provide effective results. Whether they believe in this method or question it, using the chart can be an exciting step in the process of preparing for a new baby. Following an ancient technique that connects them to millions of other women through history is a fun way to predict a baby's gender, and enjoy the unforgettable experience of planning a family.
We are inviting you to visit our website. If you are pregnant take our [http://www.quiz-madness.com/Chinese_Calendar_For_Gender.html]Chinese Birth Chart and [http://www.quiz-madness.com/Gender_Predictor_Quiz.html]Baby Gender Predictor Quiz to find out what is your baby gender. All quizzes and tests are free a quite accurate.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Chinese-Birth-Chart---Predict-Your-Babys-Gender&id=6624183] Chinese Birth Chart - Predict Your Baby's Gender
All people who dream of having a baby wonder whether someday they'll have a girl or a boy. The gender of the child is one of the biggest and most interesting mysteries expectant parents face as they begin to enter a new and exciting phase of their lives. Ultrasounds are typically inconclusive until the baby is between 16 and 20 weeks old, but there is another age-old method known as the Chinese Birth Chart that people can use to figure out a baby's gender during any point in the pregnancy, and even prior to conception.
Based on the mother's age and the date of conception, the chart has been used for hundreds of years as a surefire way to determine a baby's gender. With its origins dating back to the 13 century, the chart is often said to be over 90% effective. Also known as the Chinese Gender Chart and the Chinese Birth Calendar, the system has been used by thousands of women throughout the world to predict the gender of their new baby at the moment of conception. Because the system is based on the lunar calendar and the exact age of the mother, some have even used it to influence the sex of their baby prior to conceiving.
Part of the well-respected ancient Chinese wisdom, the Birth Chart differs from conventional medicine in many ways. According to the belief behind the popular method, women are the ones who hold the power to deciding the gender of their baby. Modern medicine dictates that the absence or presence of the Y chromosome from the man is the determining factor of an unborn baby's gender while the Chinese Chart is centered on the belief that it's actually the woman who chooses the sex of the baby, and recent scientific studies have shown evidence supporting this idea.
Although this method is easy to use, it's important to follow a few guidelines to ensure that women calculate their baby's gender as accurately as possible. The woman needs to be aware of the date of conception as it plays a vital role in using the chart correctly. It's also important to remember the chart is based on the lunar calendar and that a newborn baby is actually already twelve months old. According to the Chinese Birth Chart, the age of the woman along with the month of conception determine the baby's gender.
There are many skeptics who argue that the chart is inaccurate, there are thousands of parents who have used it with successful results. Supporters of using the chart stress the importance of learning about the value of ancient Chinese wisdom and the rules that must be followed before the system can provide effective results. Whether they believe in this method or question it, using the chart can be an exciting step in the process of preparing for a new baby. Following an ancient technique that connects them to millions of other women through history is a fun way to predict a baby's gender, and enjoy the unforgettable experience of planning a family.
We are inviting you to visit our website. If you are pregnant take our [http://www.quiz-madness.com/Chinese_Calendar_For_Gender.html]Chinese Birth Chart and [http://www.quiz-madness.com/Gender_Predictor_Quiz.html]Baby Gender Predictor Quiz to find out what is your baby gender. All quizzes and tests are free a quite accurate.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Chinese-Birth-Chart---Predict-Your-Babys-Gender&id=6624183] Chinese Birth Chart - Predict Your Baby's Gender
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Winning the Battle Against Unwanted Facial Hair
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Sherry_Nature]Sherry Nature
Ever heard about women afflicted with hirsutism? Chances are most of us are not familiar with the medical term, although many women experience this condition. Hirsutism refers to the presence of too much bodily and facial hair among women, which typically occurs in a male pattern. Modern medicine attributes abnormal and excessive hair growth in women to either heredity or hormonal imbalance. Hence, if your mom or a relative in the first or second degree has facial hair, there is possibility that you will, too. Millions of American women work hard to do away with unwanted facial hair on a weekly basis or even daily - they shave, they tweeze, and they wax.
Even models, the most desirable women in the world, are bothered with troublesome hair. So, before you freak out, you may want to browse over this article for tips on how to win the battle against those unwanted facial hair. Facial hair removal for women may be classified under two main categories of intervention outside of the shave-tweeze-wax trilogy: the home remedies, and the clinical approaches.
The first line of defense for hair removal among many women is home remedies. There are creams and lotions that are available over-the-counter. Formulations remove facial hair either permanently or until the hair grows back again. The permanent hair remover creams are definitely more expensive than the creams and lotions, which remove hair only temporarily. You can choose which cream to buy, depending on your budget - but you have to make sure to discontinue use the moment you experience any burning sensation or allergic reactions. In which case the home remedies may not be the appropriate solution to your unwanted hair problem.
There are also clinical approaches to hair removal, and the most popular so far is laser removal. Contrary to popular belief, laser hair removal is not a one-time wonder treatment. It requires from several treatments to guarantee an effective intervention against facial hair. Each laser treatment targets only a specific percentage of your unwanted hair and progresses to the next adjacent area until your skin is rendered hair-free and smooth. Laser treatments may be painless or painful, depending on the equipment used, a person's threshold for pain, and the sensitivity of the facial area being treated. Pain is usually managed by oral painkillers or anesthetics.
There are, however, some isolated cases of permanent side effects observed from laser hair removal, such as: paler skin, scars or even skin discoloration. The most common temporary side effects are blistering and swelling. Additionally, the home remedy creams also have their share of side effects, including damage to the skin, odor, as well as growth of even more hair and uneven skin discoloration.
The modern woman will move heaven and earth to look her best and to boost her self-confidence. Yet, the modern woman is intelligent and discerning. Weigh your options and never compromise safety with quality.
Learn more effective [http://facialhairremoval-women.org]facial hair removal for women methods and [http://facialhairremoval-women.org]remove facial hair today!
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Winning-the-Battle-Against-Unwanted-Facial-Hair&id=6628856] Winning the Battle Against Unwanted Facial Hair
Ever heard about women afflicted with hirsutism? Chances are most of us are not familiar with the medical term, although many women experience this condition. Hirsutism refers to the presence of too much bodily and facial hair among women, which typically occurs in a male pattern. Modern medicine attributes abnormal and excessive hair growth in women to either heredity or hormonal imbalance. Hence, if your mom or a relative in the first or second degree has facial hair, there is possibility that you will, too. Millions of American women work hard to do away with unwanted facial hair on a weekly basis or even daily - they shave, they tweeze, and they wax.
Even models, the most desirable women in the world, are bothered with troublesome hair. So, before you freak out, you may want to browse over this article for tips on how to win the battle against those unwanted facial hair. Facial hair removal for women may be classified under two main categories of intervention outside of the shave-tweeze-wax trilogy: the home remedies, and the clinical approaches.
The first line of defense for hair removal among many women is home remedies. There are creams and lotions that are available over-the-counter. Formulations remove facial hair either permanently or until the hair grows back again. The permanent hair remover creams are definitely more expensive than the creams and lotions, which remove hair only temporarily. You can choose which cream to buy, depending on your budget - but you have to make sure to discontinue use the moment you experience any burning sensation or allergic reactions. In which case the home remedies may not be the appropriate solution to your unwanted hair problem.
There are also clinical approaches to hair removal, and the most popular so far is laser removal. Contrary to popular belief, laser hair removal is not a one-time wonder treatment. It requires from several treatments to guarantee an effective intervention against facial hair. Each laser treatment targets only a specific percentage of your unwanted hair and progresses to the next adjacent area until your skin is rendered hair-free and smooth. Laser treatments may be painless or painful, depending on the equipment used, a person's threshold for pain, and the sensitivity of the facial area being treated. Pain is usually managed by oral painkillers or anesthetics.
There are, however, some isolated cases of permanent side effects observed from laser hair removal, such as: paler skin, scars or even skin discoloration. The most common temporary side effects are blistering and swelling. Additionally, the home remedy creams also have their share of side effects, including damage to the skin, odor, as well as growth of even more hair and uneven skin discoloration.
The modern woman will move heaven and earth to look her best and to boost her self-confidence. Yet, the modern woman is intelligent and discerning. Weigh your options and never compromise safety with quality.
Learn more effective [http://facialhairremoval-women.org]facial hair removal for women methods and [http://facialhairremoval-women.org]remove facial hair today!
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Winning-the-Battle-Against-Unwanted-Facial-Hair&id=6628856] Winning the Battle Against Unwanted Facial Hair
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Love, Marriage and Miscarriage
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Kennisha_Hill]Kennisha Hill
It's said the first year of marriage is known to be one of the most challenging for some couples. You have two people who recently entered into this sacred and holy matrimony with a fresh love awakened for each other and yet, reality hits immediately following the honeymoon when you discover the truth that you are two different people now seen as one.
Though many share stories of their marital bliss, some couples experience a gloomy toughness immediately following the honeymoon-- like that of the loss of their first baby.
When my husband and I got married, I imagined we would have to learn quite a bit about each other. We were in our early twenties, vibrant and zealous about getting started with our imperfect lives. We were preparing for marriage and a family together at the same time, which meant apparent falls made our road a little bumpier. But, by God's grace and our decision to continue on our journey in marriage, we pressed forward.
It wasn't until the first ultrasound that the reality of our first year hardship was evident.
We were two excited and nervous expecting parents. We walked into our doctor's office a little shaken by the idea that we were really going to be parent's so soon in our marriage. We had only been married for two months and it was time for us to see the first heartbeat in an ultrasound. So, we checked in at the receptionist desk and found two vacant chairs.
The room was noisy-- babies cried and laughed, while women more advanced in their pregnancies waddled to and from the front desk to check in. We waited, glancing at each other with apprehension beaming in our eyes and joy ringing loudly from our smiles. We knew that this person, whoever God had for us, was going to be a special unique person and that we would likely get to know him or her while getting to know each other too.
After the initial small talk and congratulations, my doctor decided to do the ultrasound that would change my life. After checking and rechecking, no heartbeat was found.
He told us to pray (yes, we is a Christian doctor. Love that!) and that it could be too early to detect the heartbeat. And he wanted me to come back in two weeks. We did, and once again, no heartbeat and this time, no growth, no progression.
I'll never forget watching my husband beat the steering while with tears flowing down his well-defined cheeks. He was hurt. I was in physical pain, and yet we were both unaware of how the next year was going to be.
More child-loss. More pain. Again and again.
"My faith is too great to be shaken," I once thought. It wasn't until after I had miscarriage number three that I saw just how untrue that was. My husband and I were ready for children. So ready that we began planning for our little blessings early. I looked at color patterns, we discussed the nursery, and we had a long list of baby names- all beginning with the letter K. But after our first miscarriage, we were often found exchanging our faith for fear of experiencing this very traumatic experience again. Who knew wanting to have a baby so bad could be so nerve-wrecking? Instead of a joyous intimate experience, we were often stressed and filled with questions. It was nothing but God's grace and love who kept us during that tough season in our lives.
Miscarriage is something many doctors say "just happens." According to American Pregnancy, 10-25% of all clinically recognized pregnancies will end in miscarriage. These are staggering statistics that are sometimes documented by people who may not fully understand the emotional turmoil it produces for those who experience it.
I couldn't pray. I couldn't eat. I couldn't think. I couldn't cry. My emotions consumed me many nights and it did nothing but cause a huge gap between my husband and I. It was hard facing this challenge with him. So, I opted for dealing with it on my own. That was a big mistake. Through trial and error, there are a few things I learned that I believe are beneficial for couples who face grueling challenges in their marriage:
1. Get to know each other: I learned that my husband is a quiet man who isn't very expressive with his feelings. Many will agree that most men are like that. Because we were so new into marriage, we had to learn exactly how each other hurt and heal. He was trying to deal with his own feelings. We were both two people in one house fighting for our emotional sanity. We didn't blame each other, but we didn't help each other either. I needed hugs and affection. He needed to let his feelings out gradually. It took time, but with lots of prayer and a desire to comfort each other, we were able to console each other during our time of grief.
2. Stay connected: Some would say that separating may be better because you have more time to think about your issues before you come together to communicate about them. That may work for some situations, but with ours, it didn't. We tried to handle our feelings separately and it only left us feeling like we were alone. Staying connected to each other is the best way to know how each other are coping. If I didn't communicate with him, I would have continued to believe that I was unworthy to be his wife because I thought I couldn't give him children. Through our circumstance, God shows us how important it was for us to seek him together about our hurt. He then began to use us both to aid in our healing. Soon after, I saw how to be there for him too.
3. Encourage each other: One day, my husband looked at me and encouraged me to pick myself up and move on- that it wasn't the end of the world for me. His words embraced me and wouldn't let go. They were water for my thirsty soul-- timely and refreshing. He encouraged me by reading scripture verses with me and letting me know how much he loves me. That God knows and has a specific plan for my life, which he believed children were a part of. After we finally got to know how to be there for each other and communicate about it, we were able to encourage each other. I felt like I was literally being lifted out of the swamp of depression and could finally see the light of God's love through it all. He helped me re-examine my faith.
Trauma in early marriage is difficult to endure, but I believe that if we truly get to know our spouses, stay connected with each other and encourage each other, we'll find that joy amidst the pain and be comforted in knowing that no matter what type of loss, pain, fear or rejection we may experience in life, if we hang on to our faith and trust God, he can show us how to heal together.
Every story ends differently, some with children by means of adoption, some with healthy babies. In my story, we were blessed with three beautiful blessings...and three that I know are with the Lord. We remember each experience we had. We remember them.
Kennisha Hill is an author, speaker and journalist who pens inspiring words of faith for women. Visit her on the web at [http://kennishahill.com]http://kennishahill.com, sign up for her free monthly e-zine "Faith.Hope.Love" and receive a free e-book.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Love,-Marriage-and-Miscarriage&id=6622060] Love, Marriage and Miscarriage
It's said the first year of marriage is known to be one of the most challenging for some couples. You have two people who recently entered into this sacred and holy matrimony with a fresh love awakened for each other and yet, reality hits immediately following the honeymoon when you discover the truth that you are two different people now seen as one.
Though many share stories of their marital bliss, some couples experience a gloomy toughness immediately following the honeymoon-- like that of the loss of their first baby.
When my husband and I got married, I imagined we would have to learn quite a bit about each other. We were in our early twenties, vibrant and zealous about getting started with our imperfect lives. We were preparing for marriage and a family together at the same time, which meant apparent falls made our road a little bumpier. But, by God's grace and our decision to continue on our journey in marriage, we pressed forward.
It wasn't until the first ultrasound that the reality of our first year hardship was evident.
We were two excited and nervous expecting parents. We walked into our doctor's office a little shaken by the idea that we were really going to be parent's so soon in our marriage. We had only been married for two months and it was time for us to see the first heartbeat in an ultrasound. So, we checked in at the receptionist desk and found two vacant chairs.
The room was noisy-- babies cried and laughed, while women more advanced in their pregnancies waddled to and from the front desk to check in. We waited, glancing at each other with apprehension beaming in our eyes and joy ringing loudly from our smiles. We knew that this person, whoever God had for us, was going to be a special unique person and that we would likely get to know him or her while getting to know each other too.
After the initial small talk and congratulations, my doctor decided to do the ultrasound that would change my life. After checking and rechecking, no heartbeat was found.
He told us to pray (yes, we is a Christian doctor. Love that!) and that it could be too early to detect the heartbeat. And he wanted me to come back in two weeks. We did, and once again, no heartbeat and this time, no growth, no progression.
I'll never forget watching my husband beat the steering while with tears flowing down his well-defined cheeks. He was hurt. I was in physical pain, and yet we were both unaware of how the next year was going to be.
More child-loss. More pain. Again and again.
"My faith is too great to be shaken," I once thought. It wasn't until after I had miscarriage number three that I saw just how untrue that was. My husband and I were ready for children. So ready that we began planning for our little blessings early. I looked at color patterns, we discussed the nursery, and we had a long list of baby names- all beginning with the letter K. But after our first miscarriage, we were often found exchanging our faith for fear of experiencing this very traumatic experience again. Who knew wanting to have a baby so bad could be so nerve-wrecking? Instead of a joyous intimate experience, we were often stressed and filled with questions. It was nothing but God's grace and love who kept us during that tough season in our lives.
Miscarriage is something many doctors say "just happens." According to American Pregnancy, 10-25% of all clinically recognized pregnancies will end in miscarriage. These are staggering statistics that are sometimes documented by people who may not fully understand the emotional turmoil it produces for those who experience it.
I couldn't pray. I couldn't eat. I couldn't think. I couldn't cry. My emotions consumed me many nights and it did nothing but cause a huge gap between my husband and I. It was hard facing this challenge with him. So, I opted for dealing with it on my own. That was a big mistake. Through trial and error, there are a few things I learned that I believe are beneficial for couples who face grueling challenges in their marriage:
1. Get to know each other: I learned that my husband is a quiet man who isn't very expressive with his feelings. Many will agree that most men are like that. Because we were so new into marriage, we had to learn exactly how each other hurt and heal. He was trying to deal with his own feelings. We were both two people in one house fighting for our emotional sanity. We didn't blame each other, but we didn't help each other either. I needed hugs and affection. He needed to let his feelings out gradually. It took time, but with lots of prayer and a desire to comfort each other, we were able to console each other during our time of grief.
2. Stay connected: Some would say that separating may be better because you have more time to think about your issues before you come together to communicate about them. That may work for some situations, but with ours, it didn't. We tried to handle our feelings separately and it only left us feeling like we were alone. Staying connected to each other is the best way to know how each other are coping. If I didn't communicate with him, I would have continued to believe that I was unworthy to be his wife because I thought I couldn't give him children. Through our circumstance, God shows us how important it was for us to seek him together about our hurt. He then began to use us both to aid in our healing. Soon after, I saw how to be there for him too.
3. Encourage each other: One day, my husband looked at me and encouraged me to pick myself up and move on- that it wasn't the end of the world for me. His words embraced me and wouldn't let go. They were water for my thirsty soul-- timely and refreshing. He encouraged me by reading scripture verses with me and letting me know how much he loves me. That God knows and has a specific plan for my life, which he believed children were a part of. After we finally got to know how to be there for each other and communicate about it, we were able to encourage each other. I felt like I was literally being lifted out of the swamp of depression and could finally see the light of God's love through it all. He helped me re-examine my faith.
Trauma in early marriage is difficult to endure, but I believe that if we truly get to know our spouses, stay connected with each other and encourage each other, we'll find that joy amidst the pain and be comforted in knowing that no matter what type of loss, pain, fear or rejection we may experience in life, if we hang on to our faith and trust God, he can show us how to heal together.
Every story ends differently, some with children by means of adoption, some with healthy babies. In my story, we were blessed with three beautiful blessings...and three that I know are with the Lord. We remember each experience we had. We remember them.
Kennisha Hill is an author, speaker and journalist who pens inspiring words of faith for women. Visit her on the web at [http://kennishahill.com]http://kennishahill.com, sign up for her free monthly e-zine "Faith.Hope.Love" and receive a free e-book.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Love,-Marriage-and-Miscarriage&id=6622060] Love, Marriage and Miscarriage
Friday, October 21, 2011
Born a Girl, Became a Woman
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Luciana_Cousin]Luciana Cousin
Boy, girl, female, and male, woman and man- every single one of us is assigned a gender at birth. Within seconds of a baby being born, the doctor or midwife announces 'It's a boy' or 'it's a girl', and your gender identity is set for the rest of your life. Theoretically, from that moment on until you die, you will be put either in the blue group or pink group.
And for most of us this is a non-issue, as we never have a need to question our gender identity. We are conditioned from infancy, as we lay in our blue or pink world, to assimilate and socialise in to our gender. We go from girl babies, to little girls, to young women to women, without giving our gender identity a thought.
As women, our social feminisation is deep-rooted and instinctive. According to Scientific America, (source: Girl Brain, Boy Brain? By Lise Eliot. September 8, 2009), which states that 'Sex differences in empathy emerge in infancy and persist throughout development, though the gap between adult women and men is larger than between girls and boys. ' Gender socialisation is the more focused form of socialisation; it is how children of different sexes are socialised into their gender roles (source: Socialization and Gender Roles within the Family: A study on adolescents and their parents in Great Britain. Isabella Crespi Department of Sociology, Catholic University of Milan, Italy).
There are the thousands of babies, who are born biologically male or biologically female, but as they grow up, it slowly becomes apparent that the birth announcement 'it's a boy' should have been 'it's a girl' or vice versa. Gender identity disorder or gender dysphoria, is a conflict between a person's actual physical gender and the gender that person identifies himself or herself as (source: US National Library of Medicine. PUBMED Health.February 18, 2010. ). It is not known what causes transgenderism or whether it is physical or biological, mental, emotional or social.
Today female hormones and gender reassignment surgery are more accessible and a bit more readily available. And so every year thousands of Male to Female (MTF) transwomen relinquish their masculinity and undergo extreme surgery to remove their male parts. It is understandable, that for the duration of the transition, for these ladies it is about achieving the female physical appearance, so that they can take their place in society as a woman. We live, after all, in a society where the physical appearance is crucial to acceptance.
Over the years, the transgender political movement has taken huge steps forward and they have fought long and hard to ensure human and civil liberties for Trans people. It is only right that their human rights to health care, employment and housing are not only recognised but respected and enforced. No one should have to live in fear for their lives and be subjected to harassment and persecution, simply because of who they are. If we all accept that while 'the world is not comprehensible, but it is embraceable: through the embracing of one of its beings' (source: Martin Buber), we can make the world a much nicer place for every one of us.
Having lived through the process of a MTF transition, I appreciate what a Herculean effort it takes to transition from a male energy to a feminine one. I witnessed and empathised with the overwhelming need to be true to oneself; the constant struggle and fight for the basic right to exist and live. I admire and respect their courage, resilience, and determination and the strong belief in oneself that they possess.
I am also intrigued with the similarities and disparities between women and Trans women and the political and social variances, particularly in the context of the empowerment of women.
I recently attended a course entitled 'Awakening Feminine Power' which is about harnessing the creative energies of life and bringing balance to the feminine and masculine aspects of life. So it is interesting to note that there is a group of Trans women who have lived all their lives as a white, middle class male, typically got married and had children and usually worked in a very male dominated industry. Around middle age, they decide they want to go through a Male to Female transition. Yet pre, post and during transition they continue to operate within the male paradigm utilising their male traits and characteristics, (possibly because they have already successfully proven themselves as men and feel most comfortable there). Although it also perpetuates the dogma that business is based on the male energy since the male business model is the only one that is in existence, it seems to me we can learn from these women!
Life for a woman, is not easy even when you are born a girl. It is after all, according to Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of The One, 'only in the last 50 or 60 years since women, en masse for the first time actually began to awaken with an impulse to actualise their potentials beyond being wives and mothers'.
While we have come a long way in the last 100 years and the glass ceilings are showing definite cracks, we are still living in a 5000 year old patriarchal society, and still a long way from achieving gender equality socially, economically and politically. The success of the empowerment of women, professionally, politically, socially and personally relies heavily on women supporting women.
It follows that the empowerment of women movement has to be inclusive of all women - irrespective of how we became women, through birth or transition and regardless of sexual orientation, economics, age, nationality, culture or religion. We are all, after all, women.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Born-a-Girl,-Became-a-Woman&id=6634409] Born a Girl, Became a Woman
Boy, girl, female, and male, woman and man- every single one of us is assigned a gender at birth. Within seconds of a baby being born, the doctor or midwife announces 'It's a boy' or 'it's a girl', and your gender identity is set for the rest of your life. Theoretically, from that moment on until you die, you will be put either in the blue group or pink group.
And for most of us this is a non-issue, as we never have a need to question our gender identity. We are conditioned from infancy, as we lay in our blue or pink world, to assimilate and socialise in to our gender. We go from girl babies, to little girls, to young women to women, without giving our gender identity a thought.
As women, our social feminisation is deep-rooted and instinctive. According to Scientific America, (source: Girl Brain, Boy Brain? By Lise Eliot. September 8, 2009), which states that 'Sex differences in empathy emerge in infancy and persist throughout development, though the gap between adult women and men is larger than between girls and boys. ' Gender socialisation is the more focused form of socialisation; it is how children of different sexes are socialised into their gender roles (source: Socialization and Gender Roles within the Family: A study on adolescents and their parents in Great Britain. Isabella Crespi Department of Sociology, Catholic University of Milan, Italy).
There are the thousands of babies, who are born biologically male or biologically female, but as they grow up, it slowly becomes apparent that the birth announcement 'it's a boy' should have been 'it's a girl' or vice versa. Gender identity disorder or gender dysphoria, is a conflict between a person's actual physical gender and the gender that person identifies himself or herself as (source: US National Library of Medicine. PUBMED Health.February 18, 2010. ). It is not known what causes transgenderism or whether it is physical or biological, mental, emotional or social.
Today female hormones and gender reassignment surgery are more accessible and a bit more readily available. And so every year thousands of Male to Female (MTF) transwomen relinquish their masculinity and undergo extreme surgery to remove their male parts. It is understandable, that for the duration of the transition, for these ladies it is about achieving the female physical appearance, so that they can take their place in society as a woman. We live, after all, in a society where the physical appearance is crucial to acceptance.
Over the years, the transgender political movement has taken huge steps forward and they have fought long and hard to ensure human and civil liberties for Trans people. It is only right that their human rights to health care, employment and housing are not only recognised but respected and enforced. No one should have to live in fear for their lives and be subjected to harassment and persecution, simply because of who they are. If we all accept that while 'the world is not comprehensible, but it is embraceable: through the embracing of one of its beings' (source: Martin Buber), we can make the world a much nicer place for every one of us.
Having lived through the process of a MTF transition, I appreciate what a Herculean effort it takes to transition from a male energy to a feminine one. I witnessed and empathised with the overwhelming need to be true to oneself; the constant struggle and fight for the basic right to exist and live. I admire and respect their courage, resilience, and determination and the strong belief in oneself that they possess.
I am also intrigued with the similarities and disparities between women and Trans women and the political and social variances, particularly in the context of the empowerment of women.
I recently attended a course entitled 'Awakening Feminine Power' which is about harnessing the creative energies of life and bringing balance to the feminine and masculine aspects of life. So it is interesting to note that there is a group of Trans women who have lived all their lives as a white, middle class male, typically got married and had children and usually worked in a very male dominated industry. Around middle age, they decide they want to go through a Male to Female transition. Yet pre, post and during transition they continue to operate within the male paradigm utilising their male traits and characteristics, (possibly because they have already successfully proven themselves as men and feel most comfortable there). Although it also perpetuates the dogma that business is based on the male energy since the male business model is the only one that is in existence, it seems to me we can learn from these women!
Life for a woman, is not easy even when you are born a girl. It is after all, according to Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of The One, 'only in the last 50 or 60 years since women, en masse for the first time actually began to awaken with an impulse to actualise their potentials beyond being wives and mothers'.
While we have come a long way in the last 100 years and the glass ceilings are showing definite cracks, we are still living in a 5000 year old patriarchal society, and still a long way from achieving gender equality socially, economically and politically. The success of the empowerment of women, professionally, politically, socially and personally relies heavily on women supporting women.
It follows that the empowerment of women movement has to be inclusive of all women - irrespective of how we became women, through birth or transition and regardless of sexual orientation, economics, age, nationality, culture or religion. We are all, after all, women.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Born-a-Girl,-Became-a-Woman&id=6634409] Born a Girl, Became a Woman
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